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Redefine Sexy- What is Sexy?

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In April, Lane Bryant launched a new campaign featuring top plus-sized models, such as Ashley Graham who is famous for being the first plus-size model to be featured in Sport’s Illustrated’s Swimsuit Edition. The Lane Bryant campaign slogan is “I’m no angel” and these “non-angels” are modeling lacy lingerie from Lane Bryant’s Cacique line. Although some people believed that the slogan might have been a jab at Victoria’s Secret angels, Linda Heasley, Lane Bryant CEO and President, told Today.com that the slogan is “only a reminder that sexy comes in all shapes and sizes.” [i] Heasley also stated, “It’s about helping all women to feel great about themselves. And if it gets people to stop and have a good laugh, that’s great.”

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Photo Courtesy of Lane Bryant

With its “I’m no angel” campaign, Lane Bryant wanted to spark a conversation about redefining sexy. Lane Bryant actually encouraged fans to give their input on social media using the hashtag #ImNoAngel. Although many of the comments about the lingerie ads are uplifting and supportive (no pun intended), there are also some comments from some people who feel that the advertisement does not represent all women and that even the plus-size models in the ad are not a good representation of plus-size women. Someone posted a comment stating that the models weren’t “curvy” enough. Someone else criticized the campaign by pointing out the fact that Lane Bryant is brand that caters to plus-size women and therefore isn’t doing anything different with this campaign. While some fans praised Lane Bryant and suggested that the company run the advertisement on television, others talked about how this campaign is just the brand’s marketing technique to increase sales to its regular customers. The “I’m no angel” campaign definitely sparked a conversation; and that conversation starts with the question, “What is sexy?”

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Photo Courtesy of www.Cosmopolitan.com

Fortunately, the definition of sexy is not concrete. The idea of what is sexy is forever changing. However, women today still feel pressured to live up to an extremely thin body shape. This is evident by the surge in diet pills and program and in the increase in the number of plastic surgeries that have been performed in the last decade. The desire to be unbelievably thin can even be seen in recent fashion trends, such as waist trimmers, corsets and skinny jeans. Yet, if you look back through history you’ll find that it wasn’t always like this.

There was a time, believe it or not, when women were celebrated for their own natural bodies, and not some body that came from a pill, product, or procedure. Many paintings from the Renaissance period depicted voluptuous women who were considered sexy and beautiful. By today’s standards most of the women in those paintings would labeled as full-figured or plus-size, but that does not make them any less sexy.

During the post-war period in the 1950’s, a fuller figure was the ideal body image for women. Having a voluptuous body during this time was highly desired. During a time when “pin-up girls” were popular, brilliant artist, Duane Bryers, created illustrations of sexy pinup girl named Hilda who was full-figured and beautiful.

Even though larger, fuller-figured women were celebrated, the celebration soon dwindled. In the 1960s woman became obsessed with being skinny[ii]. They wanted to be skinny like some of the popular models of that era like the famous Twiggy who was known for her thin frame (hence the name).

It is getting harder and harder to look like today’s popular models. Twenty years ago the average model only weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today models weigh 23 % less. As the idea of sexy changes, women try to change their bodies to match that idea instead of accepting their own bodies and realizing they don’t need to look like someone else in order to be sexy. According to Bloomsburg University of Pennsylvania, researchers found out that “exposure to media depictions of thin female models lead women and girls to overestimate their own bodies, and report lower self-esteem.” Also, a Glamour magazine survey revealed that 97% of its readers said that they have at least one “I hate my body” thought a day and women have an average of 13 negative body thoughts a day.[iii]

So, do we need to redefine what sexy means today? That is a noble idea, but unnecessary. Sexy does not need to be redefined. Sexy needs to be recognized. A woman does not have to be a size 2 to be sexy, nor does she have to be a size 22. All a woman has to do is love and accept herself and realize that she does not have to be what someone else considers “perfect.”  In the words of Lane Bryant CEO and president, “sexy comes in all shapes and sizes.” The sooner women can stop looking at others to show them what is sexy, the sooner they will see their own sexy selves.

Video Courtesy of Lane Bryant

 

By: Angela Lewis
Contributor, Workingmomin20s.com
Email: Angela@Workingmomin20s.com

 

 

[i] www.today.com. http://www.today.com/style/lane-bryant-aims-take-back-sexy-im-no-angel-lingerie-t13271

[ii] www.stylecaster.com. http://stylecaster.com/timeline-sexy-defined-through-ages/

[iii] www.bloomu.com. https://www.bloomu.edu/wrc/be

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How Did It Come To This: Slavery Systematically Destroyed The Black Family

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The institution of slavery was a business that operated on the oppression of an entire society, which successfully destroyed the traditional African family core values mercilessly. The hierarchy structure of the traditional West African family and values of an entire people were destroyed and replaced with an economic driven control system. Using examples from author John W. Blassinggame The Slave Community: Plantation Life in the Antebellum South which made the argument that the monogamous slave family worked as a survival mechanism for black slaves. E. Franklin Frazier ‘s Negro Family in the United States (Phoenix Books) argued that rape and the contrast between the house negro and field slave led to the demise of the black family. Lets explore how the institution of slavery preyed on the physical and psychological structure of the African family using both of these arguments.

According to Blassinggame, the sex ratio in the South was near equal when compared to slave societies in Latin America. This fact would play a major part in the formation of monogamous families throughout the plantations. In Latin America, like throughout most slave populations throughout the New World, planters preferred men to women as slaves in large part because of the production of resources needed by strong workers for efficiency purposes. There wasn’t an emphasis placed on the natural reproduction of slaves early on because of the profitable nature of the African slave trade and its mass importation of African men, who were preferred physically for slave labor in comparison to women. However, by the mid 19th century the ratio had almost became even throughout the South, with the new emphasis placed on reproduction powered by slave women. Frazier argues that the sex ratio imbalance caused what was once strong feelings toward relationships to become animalistic, based off of casualness of contact between men and women slaves.

Planters would encourage monogamous relationships among slaves not for any moral purpose, but to maintain order on the plantation. Christianity was introduced to slaves in a bid to destroy any familiarity they may have with traditional heritage in order to integrate them further into the religious practices of their owners. Slavery is an institution of complete control enforced through physical and mental oppression. Frazier pointed out that it was easier to control a slave if he was married to a mate on the plantation because he is less likely to run away, instead benefiting from his ability to maintain order amongst other slaves on his behalf. For the most part, planters did not care about the sexual customs of slaves, only that order was maintained. As the Atlantic Slave Trade became illegal in the New World, planters forced slaves to mate in order to enrich the population. This ended the traditional African courtship system. The result was the male slave sex life placed directly in the control of planters, as much of their existence already were.

Courtship was a blend of old African and European customs learned through observation combined with the nomadic lust and rape by white plantation owners upon the slave women. As the African became transformed into the Afro-American male, he lost a lot of the authority and respect that is custom in most West African societies. Where in Africa, procreation is a natural occurrence of life with no ties to sin, the introduction of Christianity placed an emphasis on monogamy to be with one mate for life. While men may initiate courtship with women, the institution of slavery broke down any superiority that the male may have had in old traditions. In fact according to Blassinggame, the slave woman actually was more superior in this process than the male. Being the woman controlled the time, pace, and effectiveness of the conversation, it was she who ultimately determined his success. This further proved true in the dynamics of the slave household, where women was the symbol of strength and tolerance in comparison to the man.

According to Frazier, slaves picked up white traditions depending on the level of contact between slaves and whites. In this case, the growing difference between the field slave and the house Negro. “House Negroes” naturally took upon white traditions more eagerly because the close quarters and engagements between the slave and master in the house.The field slave looked to the house Negro as an example of politeness and gentility. This difference also caused slaves to become aware of different statuses within the plantation. Engagement patterns often led house negroes to improved lives and benefits, depending on their level of responsibility on the plantation.

Sexual conquest became a path to status in the slave community. Planter’s routinely raped and bought black women for these purposes. Slaves in turn, already suffering from animalistic sexual desires, became very reckless with their pursuit of women. Engaging in premarital sex as well as extramarital sex was rampant in slave quarters. In fact, most slaves preferred to marry slaves on other plantations because they can’t bear to see a loved one beaten and raped by their slave master. This further devalued the importance of a monogamous family and encouraged sexual encounters based on sexual urges alone.

Women were recognized as the head of the household and replaced the male, who being physically and mentally broken through the hardship and humiliating nature of slavery, could do little to stop this. Slaves always faced the possibility of being sold or killed on a daily basis, therefore the women were usually the comforters and instilled the discipline into the children, which was needed to live in a slave society. Unlike Africa, the black male had to come to grips with being controlled by another man, with absolutely no say in his own or family future.

 

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In conclusion, Frazier and Blessinggame both make the argument that slavery destroyed the black family through many methods. The eradication of African customs destroyed the male’s dominance over family life. The rape of black women devalued their character while introducing a less sympathetic courtship system within the black community. Slave masters encouraged monogamy as a means of maintaining order on the plantation and never cared for the long term effects the slavery system caused to an entire race. The family structure of blacks was no longer based on the male leading the family and making decisions, it was replaced by white superiority and dominance. This effect would have long lasting consequences on black life in America throughout history.

References: E. Franklin Frazier |John W. Blassinggame The Slave Community|wikipedia images

By: Hayden Williams III
Co-Founder of Workingmomin20s.com
Email: Info@Workingmomin20s.com

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10 Signs He’s Just Not That Into You

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Today’s dating and relationship world has become more complicated than ever, especially for women who are looking for monogamy, or dare I say, to get married. There are thousands of women who are currently dating or in relationships where the lines are blurred and relationship status constantly remains ambiguous. Often times, women are dating for prospective relationships, and possibly marriage. But, how do we do this correctly, how do we date without wasting our time on men who won’t show us that we are girlfriend, wife or even dating material. How do you decipher the signs that a man is just not into you?

 

A few weeks ago, I was speaking to a friend and the topic came up about dating and specifically, why men can’t make the same effort that women make to show a guy she likes him. I have come to the conclusion that it’s pretty simple—he’s just not into you. Here are 10 signs that will help you steer clear of unrequited love and one-sided relationships.

 

  1. He doesn’t call you If a man doesn’t call you, it’s a clear sign he’s not thinking about you. Even if a man is busy, if you are important to him he will call you even if it’s just for a minute to say hi, and see how your day is going. If you never hear from your guy he’s just not that into you.
  1. You initiate all contact– If you do speak to your guy but it’s only becauseyouinitiate a phone call or text first, again, he’s just not that into you. This isaone sided courtship, and it’s not fair to you. If a guy really likes you and wants to date you, you will receive uninitiated phone calls and text.

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    Featured Image by: Ali Inay
  1. Non existent second date requestIf you recently went out on a first date, and your guy never called you back to invite you on a second date, it’s time to move on. Don’t get so caught up in the fact he said he would call, or speculating about why he didn’t call. Maybe the sparks just didn’t fly, maybe his cat died, who knows, but at this point don’t frustrate yourself about a guy who couldn’t even give you a courtesy call back.
  1. His life is a mystery Have you been dating a guy for a little while but you know absolutely nothing about his life—where he works, his goals, dreams? A guy who really likes a woman and is serious about her will allow himself to be vulnerable after dating for some time. He will open up to you about things that are important to him, because you are important to him.
  1. Activities always planned by you If you have to plan every single date, and even ask him out on said date, it’s because he’s just not that into you. If a guy really likes you, he will want to impress you. He will put effort into the relationship and he will ask you out on a date. If you are doing all the work, again he’s just not that into you.
  1. Unknown Relationship status-Have you been dating a guy for 6 months or more, and still don’t know if you are his girlfriend? Do you attempt to have conversations about exclusivity, only to be met with aloofness, and a quick change of subject by your guy? Men are pretty straightforward they know what they want, and when they find it they claim it. According to an article on sex and relationships written by Dr. Martha McCaughey, “men are competitive by nature, they compete for women against other men.” Essentially, if a man really cares for you he will make sure every man knows you’re off limits by making the two of you exclusive.
  1. You haven’t met his family or friends This one is pretty straightforward. If you have dated a guy for a while and you haven’t met his family or friends he just may not be that into you. Granted, there are some men who want to be sure, but generally, if a man really thinks you’re important, he will introduce you to the people most important to him.
  1. You’re the Main ChickI have found a disturbing new trend of women who are knowingly dating men who cheat. However, these women feel comforted, and even empowered because they are the “main chick” and, in theory, the priority in his life. News flash, if a man is seeing other women, no matter how you prioritize yourself in his hierarchy, he’s just not that into you. Call me old-fashioned, but in a real relationship a man shows you he’s into you by making you the ONLY one as opposed to the main one.
  1. He is Married This should be obvious but… If you are seeing a married man, believe me when I say HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. An article on relationships posted to Woman’s Day Journal states that less than twenty percent of married men leave their wives for the other woman. In fact, most married men who cheat are still very much in love with their wives, and are just “out for a good time.” Do not be so naïve to think that you have magic between your thighs and you will be the woman in that less than twenty percent category. Besides, you are worth more than a man who can’t see you on holidays, his birthday, or even in public. And why risk a high eighty percent of being hurt.
  1. Marriage is off the tableHave you been in a long-term relationship for years without an engagement ring? Are you constantly bringing up the subject of marriage only to be met with more excuses than a man trying to talk himself out of going to jail? Do you wonder why you cohabitate with a man without any prospects of ever getting married? If a man really loves you, and is into you, the only next step after years of being in a relationship is an engagement, which leads to marriage. I know there are men who are worried about finances, educational goals, stability, etc. before marriage. However, couples can work toward these things together while married. In fact, having a partner to support you along the way will allow you to build your empire a lot faster. I’ve seen women get stuck in this relationship rut but are afraid to leave, and end up in a dead-end relationship for decades. Beyoncé related the message clearly when she sang “if you liked it, then you should put a ring on it.” When a man knows you’re the one he won’t wait decades to make you the Mrs. Sometimes men are just entertaining a woman, until a woman who they feel is better comes along. Either way, why waste your time on someone who’s not into you enough to marry you after years of being together?

 

Here are a couple of books I suggest that are great reads, for women who are single, and dating or in a relationship.

 

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Featured Image by: Alexander Shustov

Finally, just remember the old cliché there are more fishes in the sea. This cannot be truer. Besides, you are too beautiful, and too fabulous to waste your time on men who don’t treat you accordingly! There is a man who has been designed just for you, but you will never find him if you keep wasting your time on men who are not serious about you. If he’s just not into you, it just wasn’t meant to be. Don’t blame yourself. Just move on and continue to be the wonderful woman you are, and someone will see you for just that!

 

By: Danyell Knox
Journalist, Workingmomin20s.com
Email: Danyell@Workingmomin20s.com

 

Featured Image By: Charlie Foster

Evolutionary Psychology ~ www.epjournal.net – 2008. 6(3): 482-486 WWW.WOMENSDAYJOURNAL.COM

 

 

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Protect and Serve or Shoot to Kill- Generation Y Takes on Police Brutality

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The Lyrics from the 1988 song titled “F*** The Police” by NWA states, “But don’t let it be a black and a white one, cause’ they’ll slam you down to the street top, black police showing out for the white cop.” Some would say NWA’s vulgar expression of dislike and disrespect for the police publicized the negative stigma of law enforcement and authority figures in the black community. “My definition of police brutality is when law enforcement takes the law into their own hands, to abuse, belittle or fatally wound a citizen to prove a point of power and control,” said Danika Coffee a 28-year-old African-American mother from the East Bay.

 

It’s 2015 can you insure that your children are safe from those who were hired to protect and serve?

As a mother of a 5-year-old son and former co-worker of the late Oscar Grant, Coffee shares her opinions on how she views most police. “They get away with so much because the title they hold can legally back them up without being punished for the brutality they have caused,” Coffee stated. Police brutality has become more prevalent in the media after the deaths of Oscar Grant, shot and killed by an officer at age 22 in 2009.  Tryavon Martin, shot and killed by vigilante neighbor at age 17 in 2013.  Michael Brown, shot and killed by and officer at age 18 in  2014.  Eric Gardner choked by an officer and killed at age 29 in 2014. The hands of law enforcement killed all four of those black men and each officer was acquitted of all charges.

 “I will most definitely make sure my son knows that the police are people just like us, and just like we have bad days so do they, but they have the legal power to control any situation, unless you know your rights. I will make sure as my son grows older he will be judicially informed,” Coffee concluded.

These four cases helped to ignite the already negative stigma behind law enforcement by causing riots, looting and protesting.So what’s a mother to do when past circumstances make it hard to trust the police? What’s law enforcement to do when they’ve lost trust and respect from the community they serve?

Officer Barry Parker, Gives insight on the realities of working in law enforcement in the Bay Area in this exclusive interview. Officer Parker shares that police are average people who have the same emotions and challenges as anyone else, therefore it is imperative to make wise decisions once confronted with law enforcement.

 

 

 

A criminal prosecutor from California requesting to stay anonymous answered a few questions to help parents instruct their children on the best ways to behave with interacting with law enforcement.

 

Specific advice for parents:

“I would recommend mothers to teach their children to be respectful and calm when dealing with a police officer.  When speaking with a suspect an officer does not know whether the person they are talking to is mentally ill, on drugs, or in possession of a weapon.  As a result, officers are sometimes equally as scared as the suspects they are dealing with.  The majority of police brutality cases arise from situations where the officer did not feel safe.  Therefore, mothers should teach their children not to curse at or fight with an officer, but instead be polite and speak to the officer with respect, even if they feel they are being wrongfully accused.”

 

“I’d also suggest mothers teach their children to record all interactions with police on their phone.  Doing so will prevent an officer from lying or twisting the facts in their favor.”

 

” I’d suggest mothers teach their children to not incriminate themselves when speaking with police.  So many suspects incriminate themselves with their words by admitting to parts of a crime while an officer is speaking with them.  For example, if you are driving under the influence do not voluntarily tell the officer you just had a few drinks at a bar.  Why are you making the officer’s job easier for them? By admitting to drinking, all you are doing is giving the officer more “Probable Cause” to arrest.  Therefore, mothers should teach their children to keep their mouth shut and tell the officer that you will not talk until you have a lawyer present.”

 

Know Basic Laws:

“Young men should know the basic laws about search and seizure law.  In order for an officer to lawfully stop a person, the officer must have a “reasonable suspicion” that a crime or traffic violation has been committed.  If the officer does not have a “reasonable suspicion” that a crime is afoot, then the person they stopped is free to leave. For example, if an officer sees a young man run a stop sign, jay walk or if that young man matches the description of a suspect, the officer can legally stop or briefly “detain” that man to conduct an investigation. But, however, if a man is walking down the street and he has given the officer no reason to believe he has committed a crime, nor does he match the description of a suspect, the officer does not have a “reasonable suspicion” to detain that man.  Such a detention is illegal unless the man gave his consent to be stopped.”

 

Don’t feel obligated to give consent:

“Consent to stop or detain a person can be easily given.  If an officer sees a man walking down the street and simply asks him “can I speak with you for a second,” and the man agrees to speak with the officer, that person has just consented to being stopped.  That same person can always revoke their consent and stop talking to the officer.  But, be careful because if while consensually speaking with the officer the man states information to give the officer a “reasonable suspicion” that he has committed a crime, the officer may detain the man without his consent.” “Therefore, if a person does not “consent” to be detained and an officer does not have a “reasonable suspicion” as the basis of a stop or detention, then the person being stopped is free to leave and may be the subject of an illegal detention if an officer refuses to let him leave.”

 

Don’t give an officer probable cause:

“The standard for an officer to arrest a person is higher than the standard to detain a person.  In order for an officer to legally arrest someone they must have “probable cause” to believe that person committed a crime.  In other words, an officer must have apparent facts supported by circumstances sufficiently strong to justify a reasonably intelligent and prudent person to believe that the accused person has committed the crime.

“For example, if an officer sees a car swerving in and out of a lane, that officer has a “reasonable suspicion” to believe that person is not driving safely and is in violation of the California Vehicle Code.  Once the officer has a reasonable suspicion, he may legally detain or pull that driver over to conduct an investigation.  If during the investigation the officer smells the odor of alcohol on the drivers breath, sees the drivers eyes are red and watery, hears the driver has slurred speech and the driver admits to drinking alcohol, that officer now has “probable cause” to arrest the driver for driving under the influence.”

 

Expand your professional network:

Finally, “The best resource to remain aware of the current laws is to have a friend or family member that is an attorney.  Because there are so many different areas of law and each area of law has hundreds of laws it is very difficult to stay on top of changes in the law.  If you have a friend or family member who is a lawyer you can always turn to them for help.”

 

“Injustice between law enforcement and the communities they serve has been negatively impacting America well before NWA’s 1988 controversial song titled “F*** The Police.”

 

A way to change this perspective is for the community to not only educate their children on how to behave when interacting with members of authority, but to also begin to make changes in the political arena by voting and challenging our children to become authority of the governing society.

 

By: Angelisa Ross
Journalist, Workingmomin20s.com
Email: Angelisa@Workingmomin20s.com
Videography: Antone Harrison

Featured Image by: Wellington Sinape 

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Latest Beauty Secrets for Spring 2015

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Spring is definitely in the air and it’s time to transition from all those deep and dramatic makeup looks into something fresh and light. Here’s a roundup of the latest makeup trends for Spring 2015.
1. Winged Eyeliner
 55024e5968c18_-_hbz-beauty-ss2015-trends-black-liner-prada-bks-a-rs15-7536Winged eyeliner is definitely something that is associated with more dramatic looks, so it may not seem like an obvious choice for spring makeup. However, that’s exactly what makes this look so appealing. It’s unexpected and simple, yet impactful. It’s great for day with just a bright gloss, and can definitely work for evening with some falsies and a bold lip.
Winged Eyeliner:
2. Bright Lips
55024e5b1c2a2_-_hbz-beauty-ss2015-trends-red-lips-burberry-bks-a-rs15-3609Bright, bold lips are always on trend, but the thing that makes this look fresh, is using a stain rather than a fully opaque look. This keeps the bold look from coming across as too “done” and gives off the fresh, playful vibe that is so springy. Another way to keep this look from appearing too heavy is to keep the rest of the makeup pretty simple. We’re talking a tinted moisturizer and a dusting of blush or bronzer and some mascara.
3. Minimalist Nail Art
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I think we can all agree that nail art is not going away anytime soon. That being said, there are new trends each season, and one that I’m actually sort of excited about is the minimalist/negative space trend. It looks more sophisticated than prior versions and may even be a DIY option for those of you blessed with steady hands and the patience of a saint.
4. Messy Hair
spring_summer_2015_wavy_hairstyles51Ok, so in all honesty, I usually sigh heavily when I see this listed as a trend. The urban sophisticate in me is like “So it’s a trend to not comb your hair?” Meanwhile, the hippy in me is like “I want to wear flowers in my hair and just be free.” This “messy” hair trend is somewhere in the middle because it definitely requires work, but the goal is not perfectly done hair. It can be achieved using a braid-out (which is great for natural and relaxed hair), a curling wand, sea salt spray, or a combination of all three. The look is wavy hair that’s not too perfect, but definitely “done.”
messy hair tutorial:

Video Courtesy of DeziredBeauty 

5. Modern Matte Skin
00280h_592x888The foundation to any look is great skin, and this season we’re seeing lots of looks featuring matte skin that actually looks like skin. I’m not talking heavy makeup at all because some newer products have made it possible to achieve light to medium coverage with a matte finish.
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Video courtesy of MAC Cosmetics  

What beauty trends are you planning to try this spring?

By: Adia Goss
Beauty Contributor, Workingmomin20s.com
beauty + lifestyle blogger ~ beautyluxelife.com

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Featured Image By: Kevin Schmitz

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Is your child safe from Sexual Predators or Cyber Bullies?

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The top two priorities of all good parents are essentially the same –

(1) to protect their children and
(2) to provide for their children’s needs

The Internet makes doing both of these difficult, but it is not impossible if you know what to do.

The Internet can be very beneficial to anyone who uses it, especially children. According to the Cyberethics website (www.cyberethics.info) , the Internet is “the most valuable tool in various settings of a person’s life.” The Internet has a massive amount of information and capabilities that expand children’s knowledge and education as they explore different interests, skills, cultures, etc.

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Photo By: Todd Quackenbush

Unfortunately, the Internet also exposes children to dangers as they explore this vast information superhighway.

Individuals, called “sexual predators,” often use the Internet to prey on children and sexually exploit them. Sexual predators use online services to steadily work to gain a child’s trust. They entice children by offering them gifts, affection, attention and more.

**Sexual predators will listen to children’s problems and empathize with them. They also make sure that they know all the current music and other topics in which their prey is interested. These dangerous individuals do whatever they need to in the attempt to increasingly lower a child’s shyness and innocence by gradually introducing sexual concepts and topics into the conversation. Eventually, the sexual predators will try to obtain child-pornographic photos or images and/or meet the child in person.

Some parents are so concerned about the dangers of the Internet that they just refuse to allow their children to use the internet. That is not the answer. The Internet is not the problem. It is similar to the saying about guns – “Guns don’t kill people. People kill people.” The Internet is not dangerous. Some of the people who use it are dangerous.

**Internet Bullying resulting in suicide is also a major problem the use of internet has brought to many families. Children and teenagers have fall victim to scrutiny from their fellow classmates, leading them in path of suicide and depression. As a parent, you must take precaution and pay close attention to internet activities and your child’s  social media behaviors for their own safety.

  • Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
  • Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
  • A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
  • 10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
  • According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying

Find out more visit:  Bullying & Suicide 

How to protect your Child from Cyber Bullies:

So how do parents keep their children safe? Here are a few tips from: The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) :

  • Communication. Talk to your children and explain the dangers. Instruct them not to disclose personal information, not to send pictures of themselves, and not to agree to meet with someone they met on the Internet.
  • Join them. Let them show you their favorite websites and how to use them.
  • Computer Setup. DO NOT keep the computer in the child’s bedroom. Make sure it is in a common room of the house where you can see it.
  • Use Resources. Browser options contain parental controls. Parents can also purchase Internet Safety software.
    Internet dangers are real and frightening, but parents do not have to be afraid to let their children use the Internet. Parents just need to remain informed and knowledgeable and pass that information on to their children. For more information, parents can contact their local FBI office.

Find out more about Signs your child may be a victim of Bullying.

More information about protecting your family internet safety

Our hope is that with the proper precautionary methods in place, we can educate a parent and save a child’s life. Please protect your family, and do not fall prey to dangers of the world wide web.

By: Angela Lewis
Workingmomin20s.com Contributor
Email: Admin@Workingmomin20s.com

Featured Image by: Jeff Sheldon 

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13 Most fashionable Working Moms

Beyonce


13 Most fashionable Working Mom’s who makes fashion statements on our Time lines and Magazine spreads more than often:

13.) Ciara- This new mom to Baby Future did not take any time getting rid of her baby weight. Ciara can be found walking the red carpet in the hottest designer gowns with her body in perfect shape from head to toe. Ciara is a force to be reckoned with, even in her new role as mommy, she still very sexy and does not let motherhood hold her back from celebrating her femininity.

12.) Solange- The 28 year old Mother to son Juelz 9  is always fashionable and Sultry with her own unique style. The world has embraces her for her ability to connect with her soul so richly and express her vision through her music and fashion choices.

11.) Miranda Kerr- She is most notable as a Victoria Secret’s Angel supermodel, New face of Swarovski and former wife of Orlando Bloom, who through marriage birth their first son. Miranda always lands on the hottest list, one way of the other, with her girl next door looks and her amazing body, designers worldwide are always at her doorstep requesting she walks their runways.

10.) Evelyn Lozada- A reality show vixen turned housewife and entrepreneur. Evelyn has come a long way from reality show personality to business woman and a mother of two. Evelyn Lozada makes our list for hottest mom, because she truly is HOTT with two TTs.

9.) Victoria Beckham- The Beautiful wife to David Beckham and Mother of 4. Has her own Clothing line named after herself. Victoria Beckham has a high fashion line that has been successful for about 6 years  and recently opened her own store in London. She shows us that Fashion  is what she loves by always looking her very best -all the time.

8.) Heidi Klum- The Beautiful host of Project Runway and Mother of 4 continues to Look fab at 41 years. She always appears timeless and blessed with amazing genes, as she finds a way to snap back to her original weight literally minutes after giving birth. We love and adore Heidi Klum.

7.) Gwen Stefani- The No doubt singer and one of the Judges on The Voice has her own chic style but continues to Look young and vibrant even with being a mother of two and owner of her own clothing & shoe line L.A.M.B. Gwen Stefani is a rocking mom and absolutely beautiful in her own right.

6.) Michelle Obama- The First Lady continues to Look fab at every event. As first Lady of the United States, she gives mothers everywhere hope that a balance can and does exist even in the most powerful position. Her beauty exudes from within, and seeing her smile appeases the world and mothers everywhere alike.

5.) Lala Anthony- The Beautiful Wife of Basketball Player Carmelo Anthony and Mother of Kiyan Owner of her own clothing line 5th & Mercer is one of our top five picks for looking stylish and maintaining her role as mother, wife, actor, entrepreneur, and role model.

4.) Taraji P Henson- Hits our Number 4 spot with her Hit series show EMPIRE starring her alongside Terrance Howard this Mother of One always keeps it classy and elegant.

3.) Beyonce- Where do we begin. She may be even too hot for this list. This mother, singer, wife, actor, entrepreneur, philantropist. Also secures herself on the best dressed list, and manages to make headlines on a weekly basis, an achievement that is unattainable. Beyonce is beautiful, bold, a risk taker, and does not apologize for her creativity or methods she chooses to express them. We love Beyonce, she is simply beyond this world.

2.) Gisele Bundchen: Victoria Secret’s Angel, wife of NFL 2015 Superbowl Champion, Tom Brady of the Boston Patriots. Mother of 2. Gisele has also ventured into acting, but with all her many talents, we can all agree that is is smoking hot mom!

1.) Jennifer Lopez- Aka Ms. Jlo to never let us down this mom of two continues to look fabulous at 45 years old this photo speaks volume she is essentially, timeless.

By Asha Twyman
Entertainment Editor, Workingmomin20s
Email: Asha@Workingmomin20s.com

Posted on

Unplugged: Not Everything Comes With a Red Notification Flag

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Featured image by: Vadim Sherbakov 

By: Denise Williams
Admin@Workingmomin20s.com

Posted on

Women in Pakistan

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When talking about women in Pakistan a lot of confusion starts to arise, why? Because in Pakistan there are two main perspectives, those who agree with women getting formal education and making an honest living within her household. The second perspective is opposing, and arguable is the opinion of the majority of the people of Pakistan. Who believe that the women’s place is at home, and she should tend to her children and husband’s needs instead of educating herself.

I am here to bring a different perspective, acknowledging that Pakistan has a long way to go when it comes to gender equality, however there have been women who have broken the rules and made a name for themselves.

Malala Yousafzai a Pakistani activist for female education and the youngest-ever Nobel Prize winner laureate. Born July 12, 1997. Malala is just 17 years old, already she was chosen as One of Time Magazine, 25 Most influential Teens in 2014. In 2013, she was a recipient of the Clinton Global Citizen Award. Malala Yousafzai grazed the cover of Forbes Magazine in 2014 ‘Special Philanthropy Issue known as Best In Class: The Visionaries Reimaging Our Children’s Future.’ Mala has been very adament about women empowerment, and emphasis of providing equal education rights for all women and children of Pakistani.

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Ayesha Farooq 27 years old, born August 24, 1987 is the first and only female Pakistani fighter pilot. She is quoted as saying, “My mother raised me to be strong, to a point that if one day, I was left alone, I would be able to take care of myself.” And so she did. She noted a trend referenced in the Economic Times interview as stating, that there was a growing number of women who have joined the Pakistan’s defense forces in recent years as attitude towards women changes. She argues that women are becoming more aware of those rights and signing up with the air force which is another instrumental tool in the women empowerment.

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Maria Umar is an entrepreneur who started the first All-female virtual start-up called Women’s Digital League. This company provides digital administrative support services to customers worldwide. The women in her company are composed of at home mothers and women. Who can operate the business needs without leaving their homes thanks to the advances in technology. Some of their services include research, database mangement, event management and much more. Maria Umar has be received by the world as an international change maker (http://www.changemakers.com/users/maria-umar-0). Women’s Digital League has been featured on Mashable, Forbes, and Google business. As of recent, Maria Umar rendered her time and resources to the training of over 200 women on various online work skills.

http://womensdigitalleague.com/

There is a long list of successful women from Pakistan. The issue being discussed here is why can’t women get to their goals easily in comparison to men? Why can’t we have gender equality in Pakistan? Why can’t we move freely and have the same rights afforded to all human beings similar to the rest of the world? Education does not mean giving up on religious beliefs or traditional values, a balance must exist, and this is what I would like to explore further through my personal experience.

I want to tell you about my story how difficult it was to get the job and complete my educational studies. Similarly to other young Pakistani women, I was married at the age of 18 right after high school. Immediately my in-laws insisted that I discontinued my educational path. Their belief was my high school diploma was enough and my priorities should be tending to my home and raising a family. I agreed but issued a warning that I refused to lie to my parents if they inquired about my studies. My Husband and his parents were shocked, they  promised  at the time of my wedding that they would not have an objection against my studies, but they did  anyway.

After my father learned of this news he insisted that my in-laws including my husband allow me to complete my degree, and so that’s was how I started my journey. After my father’s passing I eventually had to relocate from my in-laws and husband’s home.

Having concern about my well-being, a good friend told me to join overseas Pakistan’s school, so I joined. The education I received there helped shape the future of my professional career and created opportunities for me and my children.  After leaving my husband’s home, I moved in with my mother who was a  widow and we did not have any male  figures in the family to protect us. But we managed and defended ourselves, and stayed away from confrontation. We focused our energy on the children, and making sure I completed my education degree.

With the love and support of my children and mother. I continued to advance my education accreditation and earned my Bachelors degree, in addition received admission to Masters Degree program in Education. I desperately wanted to pay it forward, I wanted to create an opportunity to teach other women and children in Pakistan and help them achieve their dreams.

Alhmdolilah I am much stronger now mentally, than I was when I  was 18 years old girl, due to the attainment of education. It is vital, and I reccommend for women and young girls, to take this opportunity to educate themselves.

I know it is a difficult journey which we must take, but we will never get anywhere if we do not standup for ourselves and become well versed on how we can defend ourselves, as well as contribute to the growth of our country.

In a perfect world, Pakistan should create laws and policies to initiate the following:

  1. Gender Equality in education and occupation
  2. Equal and Fair opportunity for basic necessities, riding bikes, driving a car
  3. More Women empowerment Programs, teaching advance skills to help compete with developed countries.
  4. Widespread programs for women and children to get education, certification, and training.
  5. Open more educational institution for all of Pakistan
  6. Vocational training for young girls to learn skills that will help them in the future.
  7. Government must make it compulsory for all girls to get education in vocational training
  8. Resolve the main issue, convenience for women to move around
  9. Laws that protect the environment in which we reside, by making it suitable for young girls and women to work. and learn, without fear of harassment and resentment from in-laws or extended families.
  10. Security and Liberty for Single Women and Mothers who want to work, educate, and support themselves.

I am proud to be a lady but really like to have more couragei n skills to help other suffering poor ladies. May God Bless us all and save us, Amin.

By Tehreem Kashif
International Women’s Right, Contributor
www.Workingmomin20s.com
Contact: Admin@Workingmomin20s.com

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AKITI THE HUNTER

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Children’s Book Akiti The Hunter Hits Shelves as A Popular West African Tale is Transformed into Super Hero Book Series

Author Denise Mobolaji Ajayi-Williams Debuts Children’s Book with a Powerful Message of Endurance and First Africa Super Heroimage
AKITI THE HUNTER, is a tale that features the first super hero of his kind. The first of a five book series introduces the world to a unique hero will be released just in time for the holidays. AKITI THE HUNTER, also known as King of the Forest within the beautifully illustrated children’s read, is challenging the traditional ways super heroes are portrayed and giving children a new character to admire and emulate.

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Akiti is the first developed action hero derived from African heritage, encouraging children from different backgrounds to read, and become acquainted with history and heritage. Folk tales carry meaning from culture to culture and generation to generation. Learning of them enables children to view life via a wider perspective and teaches early understanding, tolerance as well as the strong, yet simple messages to be learned behind said tales. This riveting tale in particular engages children with turn of every page as they become enchanted by Akiti’s self-determination and spirit and can be found at Barnes & Noble as a hard cover for $18.34.

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“As a mother, I have a passion and desire to make the world my children grow up in a little more positive.   I want to empower the next generation to be great and believe in themselves like I believe in them.” states Denise Mobolaji Ajayi-Williams, Author of AKITI THE HUNTER.

The superhero Akiti, is unlike any other super hero and differentiating abilities such mind reading, the ability to speak any language, communicate with animals, as well as him being immortal. The first installment of the five part book series will captivate readers as they marvel in Akiti’s bravery, power, and self-confidence. There is currently effort being made, to convert the tale of AKITI THE HUNTER into animated series, and possible an animation movie in the near future.

“To my knowledge, there has never been an action hero from an African descent in any major motion animated picture, children’s book, or comic book. All of our children deserve to be represented in a positive light and I’m excited to fill that void.” Continues Denise Mobolaji Ajayi-Williams. “There is much going on in the world where our current situations are begging us to release messages that are diverse. Children need to know no whatever they look like, they too, can be heroes; they can be legends, celebrated and immortalized just like AKITI THE HUNTER.”

For more information on AKITI THE HUNTER and Denise Ajayi-Williams please by e-mail info@beautifulplanning.com or call (877)841-7244.

About the Author:

As a mother and founder of Working Moms in 20s Organizations, Denise Ajayi-Williams is the author behind AKITI THE HUNTER. With hopes of a positive impression, Ajayi-Williams believe everyone should view themselves as heroic no matter their place of origin. Her mission is to rewrite history one page at time and this time, be the authors of our own legacy. Ajayi-Williams open a new channel to influence viewers around the world. For more information on Denise Mobolaji Ajayi-Williams, visit her organization website at http://workingmomin20s.com .

AKITI THE HUNTER ISBN Number is ISBN-13: 9781909302884.

 

Media Contact:

Autumn Gilliam
Beautiful Planning Marketing & PR
877.841.7244
agilliam@beautifulplanning.com